What if I die suddenly, yah like just die out of nowhere, no prior preparation no signals nothing.
I am not scared of dying I don't think anybody is scared to die, they are scared of what happens after their death...
If I die I don't know what'll happen to my parents. They will probably leave hope to live right, I'm not being selfish but like really my parents don’t think about themselves, whatever they do it all circles back to me and my brother.. Investments, houses, things they buy everything is for us. They never plan on how they’ll live when they get old.. they plan on how they will build assets for us, so much planning and I die. Just thinking about this is horrifying..
Talking about emotions, I was crying the other night because of my counseling process and how it has fucked up my life ... my mom didn't go to sleep until I stopped sobbing and sent me to bed and hugged me saying "You don't need to worry about anything, we are there for all your hard situations".. she checked on me twice that night.. Ik cause I couldn't sleep.
When you see so much affection coming your way, you can’t stop but feel guilty for any actions that might make them sad.
I have heard people say they are scared of what'll happen to their belongings and phone that they leave behind, well It's sure a wierd thing to say... you don't want your parents or people around you to know what was in your phone. But what will they do with all my stuff. Will they throw it? cause seeing it would just pain even more right.. When dadu died we donated all his clothes except some of his favourite coats and suits that he had only worn once or twice. He was saving them for some special occasion. It's sad how that coat will remain untouched forever and then someday someone will come and throw it.
I don't think my death will affect anyone other than my own family like sure my extended family will be sad for a day max but after that they’ll be back to normal.. same goes for my friends,
Some might even be unaware like who'll tell my dc friends I died my parents don’t know they exist. Also what if someone hacks my profile and uses it even after I die. Damnnn that'll just be horrible but who cares I'll be dead.
Like in the past people had last wishes if they were killed. If someone asked for my last wish I wouldn’t know what to say .... probably something for my family like lifetime help for my parents for when they get old.
The reality is I'm scared of death not because I love my life or anything, I am scared my mom dad won't be able to take it and that’s the terrible part.
Well death is just inevitable but I don't want my parents to see my death. That's just how I want things in my life.
Brhh now I should stop thinking about all this and probably do some exercise cause surely I'll be sick if I don’t.
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