Social adaptability is so real.
Like for example, when I'm talking to my school friend Radhika, I’m the loudest person in the room. I’m expressive, I yap endlessly, we can go on for two straight hours without taking a break. I crack jokes, listen to her rant, we bitch about people, have random laughing attacks… it’s chaos in the best way. Talking to her makes me feel so alive. I become this extroverted, bubbly person full of humour and opinions. It's effortless.
But then, take someone else,someone I like talking to but can’t express it. Suddenly, I become a completely different person. I go silent. I just want to listen. I nod, agree with whatever they say, my opinions disappear into the void, and my mind totally blanks out. I have nothing to say. My reactions? Dull and unexpressive. And inside, I know this isn’t me. But I just can’t open up. It's like I'm trying to be a likable person by just agreeing and also unexpressive.
It sucks. Because the other person might think I’m boring or dry. And just like that, the whole connection shuts down.
It’s not just with people I like — even with some I’m comfortable with, I’m still reserved. I talk less, I sound disinterested, and I come off like someone who doesn't want to be there… even when I do. Why can’t I be the same with everyone?
And it makes me wonder- does this make me fake?But here’s the thing: whatever version I am with someone, it's still me. I don’t force it. I don't act. If I’m loud, it comes naturally. If I’m quiet, it’s not because I’m pretending – it's because something inside me isn't ready to open up yet. And when I do try to force being talkative or interesting, it feels completely fake and unnatural, and even runs down my social battery.
Whatever it is I'll try my best to be an interesting and emotionally open person in college to just have some more fun and meet good people.
The med life will hopefully treat me well so I can treat others. ⚕️🩺👩⚕️
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