The anxious person that I have always been, I can remember tons of incidences where I thought it was the end of the world.
1——The earliest that I can recall is from primary school maybe 1st or 2nd std where the English teacher had crossed my entire class notebook because apparently I had made tons of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes and even copied wrong answers from the board. I still remember how the teacher humiliated me and literally said to rewrite the notes of the entire session. At that time I was so horrified and distressed I cried for the entire week asking mom to change my school or I'd not go there. That was peak stress for me at that time the end of the world moment
but then everything eventually got better and I even got rank 1 in 3rd for the English olympiad cause I had gotten so consious about English and that has stayed with me and even now I got 93 percentile in cuet. So I got better (and I still hate that sister teacher.)
2—––Then my geography notebook got stolen right before the exam week and poof all my precious notes were gone before finals. I thought I was gonna fail my class but still I somehow managed to get respectable marks. It got better and I don't even remember the marks I got. But that moment it was end of world for me.
3———I got sick during covid and used to puke after every meal. My hands and legs used to itch all night, I had migraine all day for atleast more than a week. I couldn't eat and I had my 10th boards coming up and I had not studied anything. I used to miss all my online classes. That time was so difficult for me, I remember having an urge of jumping from the 2nd floor just because I couldn't sleep for 3 nights due to the pain and red itching spots all over my body. I was so damn frustrated. But then after weeks I got better recovered and my 10th boards got cancelled.
4——My mock test results were consistently bad and I was already numb to them that it stopped mattering. I was immune to low scores and even by the end it was never exceptional. But it's not the end of the world now.
Looking back, I realise that every situation that felt like a total collapse, it passed. Got better and I got better. When we are in the present things feel massive and unbearable but with time you survive and you heal and even laugh about is someday like I do about times when I used to panic just because I missed bringing my homework to class.
Even now everything's so unpredictable my future is literally either going to be made or it'll all crumble down but life doesn't bother me so much now. I have become a nonchalant to everything just too chill that sometimes even my parents get irritated by my casual behavior but I'd like to keep this version alive and just live life without worrying after every step I take.
I don't have a solution to every thing problem but the only thing I can do to feel better is to actually stop thinking and feel better. It's not that easy to end my world and these pity problems are not capable of that.
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